It seems innocuous enough, or even good for you. In fact it’s evil. Pure evil. What is pure evil, you may wonder. Let me tell you. Pure evil is something so ridiculous that it says it’s good, people think it’s good, but in fact it is completely and utterly against everything that makes sense or is natural or healthy or kind. Pure evil is the stuff of fools. I feel so crazy in the presence of this kind of thing I think I must be on another planet. I must be a bloody alien.
Non fat yogurt. First of all, the fat in yogurt is good at metabolizing the other stuff in yogurt. The fat is naturally part of the dairy. Now maybe you shouldn’t be eating dairy, and I give you that. Some people are lactose intolerant and shouldn’t eat dairy, so no yogurt. Okay. But then fat in yogurt is not the issue, it’s the DAIRY that yogurt IS that’s the problem.
If you are fine with dairy, then you want some fat in there. Why? It helps metabolize the carbs in the yogurt. Why carbs? Because most yogurt these days has tons of carbs: fruit, syrup, and flavoring … Yea, like vanilla. So all those carbs are evened out to some degree by the fat.
And by the way, it’s not the fat in yogurt that makes you FAT. It’s the carbs! The carbs that evilly turn into glucose in your body, and then turn into fat because you and I eat way more than we need to keep alive.
But what bugs me is how something so inherently wrong becomes the opposite, and it flies off the shelves. I mean look at all the yogurt in your grocery store and notice how much is NON FAT. I search and dig and moan until I find the lone yogurt way in the back that still retains some fat. Or I have to go to a gourmet food store and pay three times as much to get yogurt with full fat it, and they call it Greek Yogurt, as if the Greeks are weird and like fat in their yogurt, when they in fact invented the stuff and should know about it better than us. Jeesuz.
And just so you don’t think this is a rant about non fat yogurt (which it is), I will let you in on a little secret. Non fat yogurt is a metaphor. An analogue for something else. The pure evil of the ridiculous that becomes so because way too many people are sucked in. Like silly Sarah Palin who isn’t so silly since the media and so many people (and women, oh for God’s sake, shame on you!) are following her. And like turning off cell phones on airplanes when it is proven that they have no effect whatsoever on pilot communication. And wearing way too much perfume and cologne (men and women are both guilty) because you have gotten used to the smell, and so bombard the senses of those innocents around you. And lobbyists…need I say more? How could anything be more ridiculous than a paid lobbyist?
And grazing cows on public land in the west, letting them stomp the ground to erosion, putrefy the streams, and chomp the minimal vegetation to a monoculture of sage all for the sake of a lifestyle. And building, and rebuilding, homes and communities and cities in flood plains, coastal marshes, and hurricane paths. And letting people desecrate their land with toxic waste and general waste like beater cars, piles of tires, and other things no longer wanted in the name of private property. And having a tax code so complex that people have to hire expert accountants and pay them to figure it all out. And having medical doctors that know nothing whatsoever about healing options other than pharmaceuticals, and then having them treat you like you are the crazy, crackpot, uninformed village idiot! And companies that make a successful product launch, a “new and improved” version of it, which is nothing like the one you so enjoyed. How annoying is that? And fast food that’s so bad for your body, in fact everything sold on the perimeter of the grocery store is so bad for you, you’re warned to stay away from it. What’s that about? Why not just have a “bad for you” store that you have to purposefully drive to so you know what choice you’re making instead of fooling you by putting it all in the food store? And food that’s actually healthy, organic let’s say, costs more, much more, so it’s elitist in America to eat food that is good for you. Ridiculous.
And cigarettes. Bloody hell, aren’t they ridiculous? At least we don’t have to smell them in every public place anymore, but parents of small children can still blow smoke in their young faces and lungs all day without a word. I could go on and on.
And I will, in future blogs. This will be a recurring theme: things that are so ridiculous they boggle the mind. You have a list of these, don’t you? Of course you do.